Jason Rosenbaum is obsessed with it.
The Tribune’s politics reporter and blogger is so over the top for this game that he wrote the following blow-by-blow account of the latest update — you can now create candidates.
Jason made himself and a slew of other bloggers and put them into a race for the White House.
“Hail to President David Catanese”
In an age where war, gas prices and an unbalanced budget are constantly perplexing the masses, there is only one thing on everybody’s mind: the result of a computerized presidential election simulation that pits media types against political bloggers.
Ice Storm 2007 kept me indoors this weekend for 40 straight hours after a friend needed my ice scraper to go to work. And clearly, the most logical delegation of this massive block of free time was to decide once and for all which Missouri politico could rule the day in President Forever + Primaries, arguably the best presidential simulation ever made.
The latest incarnation of 80Soft’s masterpiece features the four-year affair that is the presidential primaries. A recent update to the game allowed users to create candidates to give John McCain, Hillary Clinton and Dennis Kucinich a run for their collective money.
But in this simulation, the Democratic Party and the Republican Party have been banished off the face of the Earth. In their place are two new parties: the Media Blogger Party and the Political Blogger Party.
Without further adieu, here are the combatants vying for the top job in the world – President of the United States:
MEDIA BLOGGER PARTY:
Blog Representative for the Political Fix
Blog Representative for the KC Buzz Blog
Blog Representative for the CDT Politics Blog
Blog Representative for the KY3 Blog
Blog Representative for the Ozarks Messenger
POLITICAL BLOGGER PARTY:
Blog Representative for John Combest.com
Blog Representative for the Source
Blog Representative for Fired Up! Missouri
Blog Representative for PubDef.net
Blog Representative for the Turner Report
Each candidate starts out with 15 percent of the vote and $100,000,000 to spend. And in running this simulation, I took control of Libertarian Michael Badnarik to ensure that I had no influence on the outcome of either primary.
Here are the highlights from the epic primary season:
IOWA AND NEW HAMPSHIRE
Media Blogger Party: (MBP) Kraske defeated all comers in Iowa, but he could not stop the unstoppable force that is Tony Messenger in the Granite State. The former Tribune columnist squashed Kraske by 15 percentage points.
Political Blogger Party: (PBP) Roe grabbed the momentum early by besting Antonio French in the Iowa Primary. And despite polling that showed promise for French in New Hampshire, Roe came from behind to win his second contest in a row.
ARIZONA, DELAWARE, MISSOURI, NEW MEXICO, NORTH DAKOTA, OKLAHOMA, SOUTH CAROLINA
MBP: Rosenbaum awoke from his disappointing showings in Iowa and New Hampshire by prevailing in South Carolina, Arizona, Oklahoma and North Dakota. Kraske managed to win in Delaware, while Messenger took first place in Missouri. Mannies won in New Mexico.
Soon after his victory, however, Kraske was hit by a major scandal – likely involving his contributions from the crayfish industry.
PBP: French rebounded strong from his early disappointment in New Hampshire by easily taking primaries in Arizona, North Dakota and Delaware. Combest came to life when he edged the field in South Carolina, Missouri and New Mexico. Roe managed to eek out a win in Oklahoma.
MICHIGAN, WASHINGTON, HAWAII, MAINE, TENNESSEE, VIRGINIA
MBP: Mannies emerged as a big winner when she won the Michigan and Maine primaries. Rosenbaum prevailed in Hawaii and Washington, Messenger scored wins in Tennessee and Catanese won his first primary in the great state of Virginia.
PBP: Randy Turner surprised everyone by defeating Roe in the Michigan primaries. Temple scored solid victories in Washington and Tennessee, while Roe was the toast of Maine, Hawaii and Virginia.
NEVADA, D.C., CALIFORNIA, WISCONSIN
MBP: Catanese officially arrived when he won the crucial California primary. He also won in D.C. Still, Rosenbaum gained the cheesehead vote with a win in Wisconsin. And despite early promise in Iowa, Kraske decided to withdraw from the race.
PBP: Roe continued to inch his way to nomination when he beat back challengers in California and Nevada. Combest prevailed in Washington, D.C. and Wisconsin.
IDAHO, UTAH, CONNECTICUT, MARYLAND, GEORGIA, MASSACHUSETTS, OHIO, NEW YORK, MINNESOTA, RHODE ISLAND, VERMONT
MBP: Mannies won in Massachusetts, Idaho, Vermont, Minnesota and Connecticut. Catanese scored wins in Georgia, Rhode Island and Maryland, while Rosenbaum won in Utah. Messenger emerged as the winner in the populous states of New York and Ohio.
PBP: Idaho citizens love three things: potatoes, Boise State and John Combest. But voters in Utah, Maryland, Connecticut, Minnesota, Vermont, New York and Georgia chose Jeff Roe as their top candidate. Temple prevailed in Rhode Island and Ohio, while French won in Massachusetts.
FLORIDA, LOUISIANA, MISSISSIPPI, TEXAS
MBP: Catanese continued his come-from-behind campaign with huge wins in Florida and Louisiana. Mannies emerged victorious in Mississippi, while Messenger romped through Texas.
PBP: Weather in the Sunshine State proved to be quite favorable to Roe, as he won big in the crucial Florida primary. He also won in Mississippi, Texas. Turner prevailed in Louisiana.
MBP: Rosenbaum won the one state that nobody wants to win – Kansas. Mannies drove a big, fat dagger into the CDT Blogger’s chances when she won big in Rosenbaum’s home state of Illinois.
PBP: Temple also won in the unfortunate state of Kansas. Roe moved one step closer to glory with a victory in Illinois. French bowed out of the race.
ALASKA, WYOMING, COLORADO
MBP: Mannies told the competition to CHILL OUT when she placed first in Alaska. Messenger won in Wyoming, while Catanese kicked some serious tail in Colorado.
PBP: Frigid volunteers for Roe came up big in Alaska. But rugged helpers pulled Turner to victories in Wyoming and Colorado.
NORTH CAROLINA, PENNSYLVANIA, INDIANA, NEBRASKA, WEST VIRGINIA
MBP: Mannies smoked the competition in North Carolina, Messenger pulled out crucial wins in Indiana, Nebraska, West Virginia and Pennsylvania. And Rosenbaum finally withdrew, giving up his dreams of presidential glory. His delegates were split up evenly between Mannies and Messenger.
PBP: Turner continued his late run with wins in North Carolina, West Virginia, Nebraska, Indiana and Pennsylvania. Seeing the writing on the wall, Temple rode off into the sunset, taking his presidential ambitious with him. 400 delegates went to Turner, 200 went to Combest and 153 went to Roe.
ARKANSAS, KENTUCKY, OREGON, ALABAMA, SOUTH DAKOTA
MBP: Catanese was all smiles after winning in Arkansas, but Messenger continued to stomp out wins in Kentucky, Alabama, South Dakota and Oregon. All three candidates are basically tied with about 32 percent of the vote. Mannies withdrew from the race, setting up a convention battle between Catanese and Messenger – the two Springfield residents.
PBP: Turner kept up his winning ways with solid strides in Arkansas, Oregon and Kentucky. Combest won in Alabama and South Dakota.
MONTANA, NEW JERSEY
MBP: Big Sky Country was very, very good for Catanese. And so was the KY3 broadcaster’s home state of New Jersey. Those two victories – along with stray delegates from Mannies – officially gave Catanese the nomination.
PBP: Turner edged his two contenders in Montana, but Combest emerged the winner in the Garden State. Turner has a big lead over Combest and Roe going into the convention.
FINAL PRIMARY RESULTS
MBP: David Catanese proved to be too much for the quartet of newspaper bloggers, winning the MBP at the very last minute over Tony Messenger. Mannies had a strong showing, but couldn’t finish the job. Rosenbaum and Kraske, it seems, just couldn’t hang with the competition.
PBP: Going into the convention, Turner had 1,226 delegates, Roe had 955 and Combest barely missed the cut 947 delegates. After Combest bowed out, 709 delegates went to Roe, 238 went to Turner. Roe prevails in an absolute squeaker, besting Turner 1,664 to 1,464.
After a long, long, long general election campaign, election night finally arrived…
CATANESE – 290 (48.3 PERCENT)
ROE – 248 (48.1 PERCENT)
BADNARIK – 0 (3.6 PERCENT)
ALALYSIS: Roe’s close win at the PBP National Convention gave Catanese an early lead. And throughout most of the fall, Catanese kept the momentum going by winning several of the prepared debates. But Roe’s negative ad blitz ate away at Catanese’s early advantage. By Election Day, the race was neck-in-neck. On the day before, each candidate had 41 percent of the vote, while Badnarik managed to poll relatively high at 5 percent.
In one of the most nail-biting election in American history, Catanese squeaked to victory. The key state, amazingly, was Catanese’s real-life home state of New Jersey, which he won by less than 1,000 votes. Had Roe won that state, he would have taken the presidency.
Catanese also won by less than half a percentage point in North Carolina, Illinois and Iowa. Talk about excitement!
So if you ever wonder again who would win in a hypothetical presidential battle between David Catanese and Jeff Roe, you know the answer.